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Odds and Ends

  Aside from the major things going on (of which will get started Thursday), there’s plenty of little things going on that I don’t feel like I can dedicate their own blog posts.  So here’s just all the odds and ends going on.

DH figured out that you can apply for a loan at our credit union online (of which they did not mention while we were there), and talked to the officer yesterday.  We were approved and the rates were just a bit better, so that’s what we’re going to go with.  My mom also gave us a buzz, and is kind enough to let us borrow a bit.

Can I just say how proud I am of my mom lately?  A few weeks ago I was really upset at her lack of understanding, but she has just done a complete turn around.  She’s just been a great listener.  She’s actually going to be visiting us around the time we would be testing.  So hopefully she’ll keep me occupied during the 2WW (the two week wait from ovulation until you can test to see if you’re pregnant).  It will also be really helpful to have her here either way it goes.

What’s really cute too is that she’s been watching Giuliana and Bill , and she talks to me about it a lot.  It’s her way of connecting and understanding, and I love that.  Even though I think they’re a little too positive and happy for what they’ve gone through, but maybe I wouldn’t be as bitter with all that money either 😉

I don’t know if I believe Giuliana’s whole deal that her weight has little to do with her not getting pregnant, but I don’t know much as I’m on the other end of that spectrum…

I’m not really afraid to tell people what I weigh because it’s not like it’s a secret that I’m overweight.  You just have to look at me to see.  When we first went to the doctor at the beginning of September, I weighed 221.6.  Since I’m about 5’5, that put my BMI at 36.8.  The doctor told us that I had to get my BMI to 35 or else they wouldn’t risk putting me under to retrieve my eggs.  To get to a BMI of 35 I needed to weigh at most 210.  So I just needed to lose 11 pounds.

I’ve been on a strict slow carb/lots of vegetables diet, and have been working out with a little strength training and 40 minutes of cardio at least 6 times a week.  I’ve lost 7 pounds since then, but I’ve been stuck at 214.8 for the last 5 days.  It’s driving me INSANE!

I’m craving white carbs, red meat, dairy, coffee, alcohol, and everything else I’ve been keeping myself from.  I’ve been busting my ass, but I just can’t get my weight to budge.  The egg retrieval is going to be in 2 to 2 1/2 weeks from now, and I have to lose those last 4.8 pounds or else they’ll cancel this cycle.

I know it was my period week, and I was expecting my weight to be up a bit but then it should have gone down.  I just don’t need the extra stress and worry.  I want to do it in a healthy way, but I don’t know what to do at this point.

I also had to start taking birth control again (it helps to control when I will ovulate so we know when to retrieve the eggs), and I’m wondering if it’s sabotaging me as well.  I am excited to take the BC again though because it really clears up my acne, and if the IVF happens to not work at least my cramps won’t be as bad.  Yeah, that’s about as positive as I get people.

What else….

Oh, we just had family members welcome 2 foster children into their home in hopes to adopt them.  I don’t know how much they want me to talk about it yet, so I’ll leave it short.  I’m so excited and happy for them though.  I just think it’s an amazingly beautiful thing to go through the foster/adoption process.  To open your home and hearts to children who really need it.  It’s also nice to have people who know the process if that’s the route we need to take.

We still talk about our options a lot.  I’ve learned not to put all my eggs into one basket.  Do I hope the 1st IVF treatment will work?  Of course, but I know there’s a possibility it won’t and I want to be prepared.  How many treatments are we willing to go through?  Would we consider donor sperm?  Would we just go right into adoption?

I don’t know how many IVF treatments I would want to go through.  The big thing for me I guess is money.  I wish it wasn’t, but at $11,500 a cycle, I don’t know how many times I can justify doing that.

I’m torn on the idea of donor sperm.  I want to be pregnant.  I wan’t to go through childbirth.  I think it’s the most amazing thing that a woman can have a child growing in her.  My DH thinks that’s crazy, but I don’t think a man could ever get it.  As much as I want that though, I want to have my husband’s child.  I know that it will be his child, but it’s that the true awesomeness of creating a baby is that it’s the physical manifestation of our love.  It is the combination of both of us.  I didn’t want that with anyone but him.  It just also seems like it’s not fair.  If he can’t have a genetic child, then I don’t want to have one either.  I’d rather adopt.  I’d rather put the money of buying donor sperm/paying for the procedure into the adoption process.

Sigh, but I guess we’ll just see…


About babyandthegeeks

I'm just a 28 year old neurotic hippie/geek, and I'm just doing my thing.

One response »

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