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Being a Baby

A few years ago during Christmas, I believe, I was with my family watching my (older) brother’s two girls (the third was just on the way) open their Christmas presents.  This was probably right before DH and my’s wedding, and the thoughts of babies was waaaaay off.  I watched as the girls ripped open a pair of matching Seaworld Barbies with tickets to the Seaworld Orlando attached.   Oddly enough, this was the moment I felt that I wasn’t the baby anymore.

You see I’m the youngest of my brother and myself, and from the age of about 12 on it’s pretty much just been my Mother and me.  She did the best she could for a single mother, and gave my brother and I a lot of opportunities.  I got to go to Great Britain and Ireland at age 15, drove on the highway for the first time in San Fransisco, and tagged along in various places around the country when her company would send her to meetings.  I’m always grateful to her that I had these experiences.

I never though got to go to Seaworld.  I wouldn’t say it was jealousy when I saw my niece’s gifts.  Sort of more like coming to the point that I have to accept that it’s not me anymore.  It’s their time.  Of course I also probably thought about how it would be my kid’s time soon, HA!  Anyway, from then on I always teased my Mom about how the grandkids got it better.

Then we moved to Austin, and I was thrilled to see that they had a Seaworld in San Antonio, just a little more than an hour away!  So when my mother came to visit us this week, I insisted that she had to take me.  I think I was more excited about it than my nieces.

I practically ran into the place.  I acted like a complete 5 year old, and it was fantastic!  These days it seems like I can barely go into a mall without seeing kids everywhere and wanting to cry.  I was surrounded by kids here, and it didn’t really bother me.  I didn’t see them as “those things I can’t have” but the people like me who were in awe when Orcas did flips in the air.

DH was so sweet too and got me one of those souvenir cups with a plastic Orca on the top.  It was just a perfect day.  I got to forget about trying to have a baby, and just be a baby for one last time.

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Until I got home and had my meds waiting for me.  My doctor has me on Menopur – 150 and Follistim – 150.  I was nervous about doing it for the first time, but it wasn’t too bad.  The thing is that I shake so bad.  The getting the needle in is ok, but in just the few seconds it takes to arrange my hand to push down the plunger, my shakes start up.  So that needle starts jiggling in there a bit, and it’s not the best feeling.

DH is so awesome though.  He asked me what I had to do, and for the past couple of nights has been getting everything set up for me.  He’s offered to just do the injections for me, but I want to try to do it on my own.  I did let him push the plunger for the Menopur last night though, just so he can get some practice in before the big injections he has to give me later.

I am though impossibly creeped out by the fact that I can feel the stuff going in.  I’ve never liked injections and the idea of something foreign going into my body, but I’ve just got to suck it up.  I didn’t have any horrible side effects though, except for insomnia.  I didn’t go to bed until 2 am!  I’m usually out by 10 pm.  I did manage to get to sleep by 11 pm last night, so hopefully this won’t be a big problem.

I wasn’t supposed to get another ultrasound/lab until Wednesday, but my doctor asked me if I wanted to come in tomorrow morning instead.  There’s not anything wrong, they just decided that they want to check patients under 35 after 4 days instead of 5.  I’m excited to see if it’s working and if we can get my right ovary to show up this time.  I think my Mom would like to see before she has to head back to Ohio too.

I’ll let you know!

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I also want to say a “Hello” to all the ICLWs out there!  Sorry I’ve been behind on my posts, but I’m so grateful to all of those who have been reading and leaving comments.  I’ve been trying to keep up, and it’s been so nice to discover new people and blogs!

Just a really quick intro, me (28) and my DH (36) have been married for a year and a half now and are trying for baby #1.  We have discovered that we suffer from Male Factor Infertility (DH’s count is low and morphology is like a 1), and after moving from Ohio to Austin, TX we are just starting our 1st IVF.

He’s a Sci-fi nerd, I’m a fantasy geek, and we’re just trying to make a baby.  Although were terrified they’ll be a jock.  Seriously, we will be such awkward turtles if we have to go to football games and the such.  If we manage to get a baby out of this, we will not complain though!

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy or get a laugh!

 

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About babyandthegeeks

I'm just a 28 year old neurotic hippie/geek, and I'm just doing my thing.

6 responses »

  1. I know the feeling you have – it’s like Christmas again! Just ’cause we’re older doesn’t mean we can’t still feel like a kid! I haven’t been to Seaworld since I was a kid and would love to go again!

    Good luck with your appointment!!

    Reply
  2. Fun! Have you been to Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch off of 35 by San Antonio? I was squealing in the car like a 4 year old. Good luck at your appointment!

    Reply
  3. My husband, despite demonstrated nerd cred (WoW, D&D), is definitely a jock. Our best case scenario is my brains and his brawn.

    Reply
  4. Hello from ICLW. I too can feel the injections going in and don’t like it. It’s always just a tad bit strange to know that I am injecting myself. I never thought I’d have to do it.

    Good luck with this cycle!

    Reply

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