We had our 8 week ultrasound today, let’s get right to it:
The heartbeat looks great. We’re calling it at 160, right where it should be.
This picture really doesn’t do what we saw today justice. It’s really starting to look like a human. You could totally make out the head, arms, and legs. The tech even showed me where the umbilical cord is forming. She also pointed out that the yolk sac is collapsing, as it should be, and we should expect to see the placenta by week 12.
“You’re totally having this baby,” she reassured me. It may bite me in the ass, but I think she may be right. It still seems so unreal though.
Since I’ve stopped spotting and everything looked good today, they don’t want to see me again for another two weeks. I was also told to drink a lot of sugar before I come in so we can see the baby wiggling around. Like it’s father, it was doddling today.
They also reiterated that they’ll be releasing me by the end of the first trimester, Week 12, so they want someone to be seeing me by that time. BTW, I can’t believe that we’re already 2 months in and only another 4 weeks from the end of the first trimester. I really want to start enjoying this instead of worrying so much.
Ok, so here it is:
THE BIRTH PLAN!
When DH and I started thinking about having children almost a year ago (and way before we realized we were infertile), he came to me one day and out of nowhere said, “I want us to have a midwife and a homebirth.”
Like most probably would, I thought he was a little nuts. “I was on Netflix last night, and I saw this movie called ‘The Business of Being Born‘,” he told me. “Watch it with an open mind, and then make a decision.”
I wasn’t completely turned off of this idea. It was just that I simply knew NOTHING about midwives, or homebirths, or really births in general. From what I saw of births on tv, this was a horrible experience that I could only hoped to be doped up for to survive it. So I sat down and watched this movie. It changed everything for me.
While watching it, it clicked in me. Yes, this is what birth is supposed to be. This makes sense. I want a at home water birth with all my being!
At the time though, we were in a state where it was illegal. It was one of the many reasons we decided to move to Austin, where it’s legal and practiced by many people here.
So now that we’re FINALLY pregnant, a lot of people are starting to ask about our birth plan. Like I figured, I get a lot of mixed reviews. Here in Austin, people say, “Oh, cool. Here’s the name and number of the midwife I used.” The reactions from those anywhere else, are very different.
“You’re being silly, you just need to come back home and have this baby with a doctor”, “Oh sure, once you feel the pain you’ll feel differently”, or they just shake their head at me. None of these people though know anything about midwives or homebirths, and it’s hard to explain to people who don’t want to educate themselves.
I don’t believe that you will ever have a natural birth if you go into a hospital. There is nothing that they do that is “natural” or done for the benefit of you and your baby. The very way they have you laying on a table on your back is not a natural birthing pose, but it’s more convenient for the doctor. I’m sorry, but I’m the one that’s going to birth my baby, not them.
I’m also in utter shock and disgust at the C-section rate in this country. Women even schedule them! Do you not realize that it’s major surgery, and if you ever do get pregnant again that it puts you and baby at risk? It’s completely unnecessary!
If we’re so advanced, and it’s so much better to have a baby in a hospital than why does the US have the second highest infant mortality rate in the world? Why have American women allowed ourselves to be convinced that we can’t birth babies on our own? The rest of the world uses midwives, and women have been doing natural births for thousands of years. We were literally made to do this. Why be afraid of that? Why not enjoy that power you have?
Because it hurts? Well, duh, but you can still do it. What if there is an actual problem and you need to go to the hospital? This is absolutely possible, and can happen. A midwife is trained for this. They know when they need to get you to the hospital. At least then, I know that it is absolutely necessary, and not just because a doctor wants to get home in time for dinner.
Midwives are usually nurses who have trained and been doing homebirths for years. They have experienced hundreds of births. They’ve seen it all. They come prepared for anything. They come with oxygen, pitocin, sutures, and anything else that you might need. Doctors leave medical school having never seen an actual birth, and most doctors after years on duty have still never seen a natural birth.
Even if you don’t want to debate the whole doctor thing, here’s what really sealed it for me.
When the mother first births the baby, both baby and mother release a chemical in the brain that bonds them. Baby becomes attached and dependent on mommy, and mommy becomes bonded and wants to protect and nurse baby. This very powerful chemical of love only lasts minutes, and if baby is taken away from mother during the first few minutes after birth they won’t become connected. Any hospital birth, they instantly whisk your baby away to be measured and weighed, denying this connection. Babies allowed to be held by mommy are known to not only be better breast feeders, but all around happier. Watch any home birth, and you can see this connection. You can see the look of pure ecstasy on the mother’s faces. I want that for my baby and me.
Ok, so I understand that even after educating yourself about it, it may still not be for you. You may even have a high risk pregnancy that doesn’t allow you to have a homebirth. I get it. It’s a very personal and deep thing for everyone. We might not agree with the choices we make, but I’m not going to tell anyone how they should birth. I just ask for the same respect.
I was really upset a few months back when a family member through a marriage put a post on Facebook bashing the movie, midwives, and those who chose homebirths. Now we were nowhere near being pregnant yet, and he had no idea that it is what we chose to do, but I couldn’t believe that he could be so close minded and insensitive. They were maybe five minutes into the movie before they had made their opinion. I never said anything to him or his pregnant wife. I simply unfriended them, and moved on. I don’t think they would ever notice, and if that’s the kind of people they are, I don’t need to hear anything else from them. I just hope that on the minuscule chance that we ever see each other again, they don’t bring up birthing stories.
So anyway, I hope in this community where we’re faced with stupidity and insensitivity all the time that our choices can be respected if not agreed on.
DH and I have been interviewing a lot of midwives in the area, and I think I feel really good about Debra from Heart of Texas Midwives. She’s definitely the one I would feel comfortable being naked around making animal noises. We go for a private interview with her Monday, and hopefully we’ll be able to make a final decision and get everything ready by Week 12.
I’ll let you know how it goes!