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Infertile Remission

I wish that I had more exciting things to update you on, but we really have become a boring couple.  I promise that there will be a lot more in the coming months.  It’s just the calm before the storm.

The monthly midwife appointment went well.  We easily got the baby’s heartbeat, so I’m not worried that the tilted uterus is going to be an issue.  Everything is coming along well.

I haven’t had this issue yet, but for the last couple of weeks I’ve really been getting some bad mood swings.  Well, I don’t know if I would call it mood swings as much as easily being upset.  The slightest thing can send me into tears or put me quickly in an irritated or depressed mood.

I’ve gotten to the point that I can’t read pregnancy message boards anymore.  There are probably only 10% of posts that are worth reading.  There is just so much ignorance in the world, and it seems to compile there.

Then speaking of ignorance, there’s all the talk of IVF in the media.  Newt Gingrich said that he would be willing to make it illegal.  Reading comments on stories like this send me up a wall.

Somehow by having to create life through IVF, we didn’t do it by “god’s way” or some nonsense.  That somehow because we were infertile it was their god’s wish, and that we should “just adopt anyway”.

Now first of all, I’ve hinted before on this blog, but I didn’t want to make it a huge issue.  My DH and I are atheists.  We don’t care if or what you believe.  We’re not interested in your beliefs, that’s your business.  What I do mind is when you stick your beliefs in my business.

If you think your infertility is god’s wish, that he has punished you, and that he will send you to hell if you conceive through IVF then don’t get one.  But we live in a country that was founded on religious freedoms.  I can choose what to do with my reproduction free of the religious persecutions of others.  I find it frightening that so many ignorant judgmental zealots who want limited government don’t mind complete government control of women’s health.

I wonder if these people are just as comfortable telling cancer patients that its god’s wish that they have this horrid disease?  By their logic with infertility they should refuse treatment and “just die”.  Infertility is a disease.  Somehow it’s just become viewed as this non-disease that is somehow god’s business rather than a doctor’s.

Also, there is no “just” in adoption or infertility.  Anyone who utters the words “just adopt” should be legally made to first say, “in my ignorant opinion”.  It shows complete ignorance in understanding the issues or process of adoption, not to mention infertility in general.

The choice to adopt isn’t one you can “just” make.  It’s very serious.  Some like to say that to chose IVF over adoption is selfish.  If it is, then why would you want a selfish person to be forced to adopt a child they don’t believe they will be happy with?  How is that fair to the child?  Just because you are infertile doesn’t mean that you were meant to adopt, just as those who are fertile aren’t always meant to have children (Casey Anthony, maybe?).

Bottom line though is that our journey to a child is my DH and mine alone.  Just because you “think” (because you never know what you would chose unless you were really faced with it) you would chose another path doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.  I’m not saying that adoption isn’t a good thing or that people shouldn’t do it.  I’m saying that you shouldn’t assume that just because someone is infertile that they are a good candidate for adoption.

Ugh, I hate these negative feelings.  I hate being upset or letting things weigh on and affect me.  I hate the ups and downs of this roller coaster.  By that I don’t strictly mean pregnancy.  I may not like it at times, but I wouldn’t change a thing.  I also mean the infertility journey.  Just because you become pregnant doesn’t mean you stop being infertile.

I’m just in infertile remission I guess.  It doesn’t mean that it’s not something that I won’t have to deal with the rest of my life.  It doesn’t mean that I won’t always be concerned with the legislative issues of infertiles and want justice for all those who deserve a family.

But it also doesn’t mean that it always has to weigh on me.  I did see this today and it made me smile:

  My baby is getting so big.  I’ll be able to find out the sex in just a couple of weeks.  I can’t wait!  I want to post about ideas for the nursery, cute outfits, and endlessly weigh over which strollers or cribs to get.  These are good and happy things, and we’re so blessed to be able to have them.

About babyandthegeeks

I'm just a 28 year old neurotic hippie/geek, and I'm just doing my thing.

One response »

  1. Yay for 15 weeks!! I can’t wait to see your ideas for a nursery, etc.!

    I like that: “infertile in remission.”


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