The ECV was a fail. He just wouldn’t get into a good position for it. He was breech with his face towards my spine. In order for it to be successful, he would have had to face my side.
So did it hurt? Well, yes, but nothing that killed me. I just was completely focused on breathing and trying to stay relaxed as possible. People looked at me and tried to talk to me, but I would just stare at them. They thought I was still “under the veil” of the drugs, but trust me, after they’re sticking their bony fingers deep in your pelvis the veil of drugs is quickly lifted. I just stared at them rather than say, “look, it’s taking everything in my power to focus so shut your mouth.”
DH was just perfection. He sat close to my head, whispered encouragement, and stroked my hair. It was everything I didn’t know I needed. When they told us there was nothing more to be done, he held me and sobbed with me.
The rest of the day was one of the worse of my life. I was so tired. I didn’t want to think about what was next, but after we were given a moment that’s what everyone wanted to know from us. The midwife is done with us. They can lose their licence, and I understand, but I wish she was a bit more sensitive with us. Note: this was not my main midwife who I would have preferred was there, but they are in the same practice. She actually had the nerve to say after it failed, “we did one of these last week, and it worked.” WTF? I’m sure for some people it does, but as you just saw it didn’t for us. You just said you heard us sobbing, so why are you going to say something like that? I’m sure you would have also told us when we were TTC that we should “just relax”. Needless to say, I was done with her.
The doctor that she referred us to and did the ECV wanted to schedule a C section at 39 or 40 weeks. At that moment I almost felt like telling her to cut me open right then and there. I was tired and so defeated. I can understand why so many women let doctors convince them to do it. Again, thank goodness for DH. He really stepped up as my rock and told them we needed time to think about everything.
So after finally getting something to eat, and sleeping most of the day away I feel a bit better today. I’m not good, but I’m getting better. I feel like I did about a thousand crunches though, my abdomen and pelvis are very sore. I finally got a hold of my main midwife, and these are our options:
1. I can transfer my care to a OB who will likely schedule a C section. I can attempt to find one that will wait for me to labor, but she couldn’t think of anyone.
2. I can stay with her, but once I start laboring we will go to the hospital. If he hasn’t flipped by then, they’re likely to do an emergency C section. It’s still the C section, but at least we’re waiting until the baby decides that he wants to come.
3. There is a doctor that is willing to do vaginal breech births. Two hitches with this. a) his practice is 4 hours away b) he’s not covered by our insurance. Ideally this is what we would really want to do, but there’s a lot to think about here. I’m not worried about his competence. He’s been doing these for years, and many breech babies from Austin and all over the state go to him. Cost and timing I guess are the big things. We would have to get a hotel room up there, but it’s not like we can actually tell what time the baby will come.
A lot to think about. We’re taking the weekend to mull it all over. Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and prayers. I guess we just used up all our good luck getting pregnant in the first place. I’ll keep you updated.