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Training Wheels Are Off

Today is the last day that MOL will be with us, and we won’t have any extra hands until October.  The training wheels are off.  While I still wonder how anything will get done, we are starting to settle into more of a routine.  Somewhat.

After the first few days at home, DH and I were a little lost.  Duh, I know, but this was certainly not what we really expected.  Jasper wanted to nurse ALL THE TIME.

There was no schedule.  No eating every three hours.  He wanted to be on the breast 24/7.  He wanted to fall asleep with the nipple in the mouth and stay asleep on me.  If he was taken away from me he would fuss and cry until he was put back on.

We tried everything to give me some sort of a break, but we finally gave into the realization that this was life now.  I was banished to the couch with the baby on my breast until…..Well, who knows?  Six weeks?  Eight?  This can’t last forever, right?

We wondered if this was even normal.  Don’t newborns have more than 20 minutes of “content” time a day?  That’s about all we get first thing in the morning.  The rest of the day is spent nursing, crying, or sleeping.

That’s why I was so glad to see Michelle’s post yesterday at A Miracle in the Works.  It was so relieving that we weren’t the only ones dealing with this.  We weren’t crazy.

I can see though now why most women would give up on breastfeeding.  Sitting on your butt all day doesn’t sound that bad, but this is hard.  Harder than anyone hinted at.

It’s almost impossible to get anything done but nursing.  You can easily feel trapped in your own home.  Going to the store seems impossible let alone going to the mailbox, the kitchen to eat, or even just to the bathroom to pee.  There were moments I seriously considered getting adult diapers.  I already have on a pad and two nursing pads….

We did have our first outing to our pediatrician appointment last Thursday.  The great news, Jasper is “perfect” and was back up to his birth weight.  He’s getting plenty to eat!  The bad news, he cried through the whole trip except for when I nursed a bit in the exam room.

Sigh, just have to keep reminding myself that it will get better.  I just have to be strong.  I adore my baby.  I love being his Mom.  It’s not easy, but I have no desire to quit breastfeeding.

Ooop, well sorry to cut it short again, but someone is waking up.  Just three more weeks of this….right?

P.S.  Thanks to everyone for the kind comments lately, and sorry I haven’t really responded.  Time is escaping me 😛


About babyandthegeeks

I'm just a 28 year old neurotic hippie/geek, and I'm just doing my thing.

3 responses »

  1. We can do this!! Too bad we don’t live next door to each other to commiserate in person 🙂

  2. Those weeks of cluster feeding are TOUGH. But slowly, there will be longer stretches of alertness and looking around, checking out the world, where you can out him down on a mat and go pee!

    Hang in there! You’re doing great! 🙂

  3. I hear ya! My daughter is just over a week now and once she found her food groove, well. She’s been eating ever since!
    Keep up the good work! Someday we won’t be just feed bags to them 😉


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