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Why Do I Do This To Myself?

I joined the month/year baby group on FB today. It’s nice to connect with mommys that have babies the same age, but there are definitely things you have to keep in mind.
I try to skim over the pregnancy announcements.  One lady had a miscarriage in September. “Aww,” I think.  Although dang, didn’t you just give birth two months before?  Oh, but she’s pregnant again now…..just move on….
Your baby can already sit up?!?  We just started sitting with support and they’re doing it unassisted?!?  We aren’t even rolling over yet. I just got him to do tummy time, but he still melts down over it after 5 minutes.
Ok, girl, calm down. Every baby learns at their own pace. You can’t compare him to every other baby or you’ll go crazy. Just move on.
Then I read a post about how a mommy is concerned that her baby doesn’t interact with toys on her own. That when she leaves her to do housework she just sits and stares off into space. She doesn’t fuss, she just watches her……She feels bad that she doesn’t interact with her more……
Here comes my crazy person laughter. Are you f-ing with me?  This is how I know my baby is not normal and high needs.
I WISH he would stare off into space or quietly watch me do chores. If I leave him for more than 2 minutes he loses his mind. All I do all day is interact with him, or nurse him. Its exhausting!
All this baby does is fuss and cry. He wakes up crying, he goes to sleep crying.
Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE my baby. I came to an acceptance that this is his who he is.
Its not always easy though. Do I wish things were different?  That I had a more “normal” baby?  Sometimes. But there’s always someone who has it worse, and in those moments when we’re nursing in bed, he pulls off, smiles up at me and babbles happily, I couldn’t be more joyful.
  I’ll stay with the group, but I need to be easier on myself and not compare us so much to the others. We’re finding our own way. We’re still defining ourselves as a baby, mother, and family. It changes, grows, and morphs every day.

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About babyandthegeeks

I'm just a 28 year old neurotic hippie/geek, and I'm just doing my thing.

4 responses »

  1. I can’t remember, did you look into the possibility of baby having a dairy allergy? Baby Jett was like what you’re describing starting at 6 weeks, crying anytime he wasn’t being held…and sometimes even then, wouldn’t sleep etc etc. and it continued through 10 weeks until I sought help because I thought I was going to lose my mind. It was horrible! After cutting out dairy as a last ditch effort he did a complete 180 at 12 weeks, it was like flipping a light switch. He now will sit happily on his mat, either watching me or playing with toys etc etc. doesn’t cry unless he’s upset or needs something. It was amazing! If you haven’t already I highly suggest looking into an allergy of some sort for your own sanity!

    Reply
    • I go back and forth on whether to do that or not. A bit of it is my own selfishness, I admit. Who wants to give up all dairy? It was bad enough giving up all the sugar and carbs during the pregnancy. Then you don’t even know its working until a month later? My Pedi hasn’t said anything about it either. I don’t know. I guess I only have myself to blame if I don’t try. I just love ice cream so much 😥 😉

      Reply
      • It really is worth it if it turns out to be a dairy allergy. I’m scared to reintroduce dairy at 6 months to see if he’s outgrown it, it was that drastic a change that I don’t EVER want to go back to that screamy miserable little thing I had for those 6 weeks and if all it takes is me staying away from dairy than I’m all in! You’ll know at about 2-3 weeks if it’s a dairy issue, it was 16 days for me when he flipped his lightswitch and I’ve never looked back!

  2. Take it easy on yourself, my friend. We are all doing the best we can… And those who have perfect babies can f off…

    http://www.scarymommy.com/the-scary-mommy-manifesto/

    Reply

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